i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
