**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
