its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
