I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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