I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize