I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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