Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
