I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize