Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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