How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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