Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
