A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
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i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
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I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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