you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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