Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
