Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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