I hope mine doesn't look like that
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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