11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
