$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
