this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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