so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
if only i could text you this smell
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
