You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
