So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
