Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
