haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
