Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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