Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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