She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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