Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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