dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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