One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
