idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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