I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
