Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
