I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
