Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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