Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize