i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
