Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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