official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
