It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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