I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize