That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
