Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
