I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
