i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
