Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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