i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
