Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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