If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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