wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
