I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
