Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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