i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
