thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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