I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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