And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
