I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
