Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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