Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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