The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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