i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Farmville is her only friend.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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